Here some tips how you can stay single forever:

Curious?  … Then go on reading 🙂

image by Agathe Sorlet

  • No matter what your date is telling you just interrupt the story because you know it better for sure
  • You will definitely impress him by talking about yourself the whole time
  • Another good point: tell your date the whole dramatic story of your ex and compare. Don’t forget to compare them!
  • Just go for it and tell him/ her how many children you want to have. Feel free to  list the names your future kids will have
  • Make as many selfies as possible and ask your date to take pictures which you’ll send to your friends. Afterwards criticize the quality of the pictures
  • Don’t forget to photograph your meal and share it at all possible social media channels
TANYA COOPER, die Illustratoren

image by Tanya Cooper

  • Tell your date you’re not so hungry and order something small. The meal is served, eat as much as you can of your date´s plate, without even asking
  • Show your date a huge amount of pictures of yourself
  • Give  some good advise to your date about it´s outfit and discuss his/ her taste of clothing.
  • Drink as much alcohol as you can before your date to feel relaxed and to bring you into the flirty mood. Probably it´s best if you’re already tipsy and smell of alcohol before you arrive to the date.
  • Automatically assume the man is paying even there is no obvious invitation.
PI, LIAM O'FARRELL,die Illustratoren

image by Liam O’Farrell

  • Be as snobbish, conceited and arrogant as you can
  • Talk long hours about beauty defects of yours. Don’t forget to mention that you have  way to much weight
  • Come 40 minutes late without a good reason, and even a call
  • Feel free to make already plans for your common vacation
  • If you’re really hungry before you meet your date for a drink,  just grab a doner kebab. No need to brush your teeth or have  a chewing gum afterwards. So you have a really bad breath

image by Andrew Magill

  • Talk about how many sex partner you’ve  had, what was good and bad in details
  • Tell your date how much money you’re earning and how much you have on your bank account. Boast about it as much as you can
  • Don’t forget to ask your date how much money he/she earns
  • The best subject to talk about is illnesses
  • Unnatural appearance is the best
  • If you’re not sure it is a real date. Just assume it!  Touch your date as much as you can

So just follow these twenty advice and you can be sure you stay single forever

It’s all personal.