Los Angeles and New York were calling for a one-month photo production trip.
We rented a cozy house in Venice for our crew and us. Every morning, before we started to work, we would go for a run at the beach, do some work-out on the sun deck or play tennis on a public tennis court by the house and have either healthy or “dirty breakfast” afterwords. „Lemonade“ vs. „Thomas original world famous chilly burgers and fries“.

personal issue
true story, pregnant, stylist

Although we were spending splendid times in the States, I couldn’t wait to get back to the new apartment in Berlin that I could finally call “home”.
A few days after being back, Robert and I visited some fashion PR-agencies during the press days while Elena was spending her vacation at the Maldives.
I promised to represent the two of us from my chocolate – side. Well, that didn´t work very well. I felt horrible those days. I couldn’t really talk, neither I could follow the conversations. My back hurt like hell and I had really low blood pressure.
When I saw a huge food buffet I reached my edge and almost faded.
„Babe, I think we need to buy a pregnancy test!!“ I said to my then boyfriend.

Well, guess what?

I was prego!!
At first I was shocked and couldn’t believe my eyes. Two stripes!! Means you ARE PREGNANT!!
Me? Pregnant? Was it the right moment, is there ever a right moment to get pregnant?
Actually the circumstances could be worse and yes the moment was just right.
When we started to realize that things were real we were just happy about it.
It didn´t take long for the hormones to kick in – which totally knock me out.
I was out of order for three months, not being able to leave the bed, eat, socialize, let alone work. Only what I was capable of was eating pretzels every day. Pretzels, pizza and coke for almost three months.
Everything else was not generally negotiable. Just the smell of freshly cooked food was like torture to me. Like for real! I wanted to cry because of all the intense smell I could smell out of a sudden. Food, Gas station around the corner, fresh wood, perfumes, deodorant sweat just everything. The loopings on my hormonal rollercoaster took me to the highes, purest happy place and switched to deep depression within seconds. Back and forth. Kind of like “I love my life – I want to die-ish”
After the first trimester it was like somebody pushed the button and I felt good again. More then good, I had so much energy and couldn’t wait to have a normal life again and come back to work.

mum life, about pregnancy, mum to be

Back on track there was a lot of work to catch up with. South of France was our next destination for an “Adidas X Coca Cola” collaboration. We also produced a little film for Personal ISSUE, which will be realized soon. It was a really busy time! We had to plan photo productions in NYC, LA and a couple of shootings in London.
For the second trimester I didn´t feel pregnant at all. People around me always had to remind me about it by saying that I should slow down.
I must confess that I enjoyed that little time-out from physically hard working and from being treated like a strong man. I could feel how almost every male persona around me has been developing protective feelings and treated me like a princess.
As soon as my bump was visible, it felt like most people in general being friendlier than usually. Strangers where wishing me all the best and even typical Berlin bluntness were all smiles.

When I was 8 months pregnant I started to feel „pregnant“ again but in a different way. I didn’t feel sick or anything. I just started to feel kind of heavy and my hips hurt a lot. I had a hard time putting on my socks and shoes. At night, I woke up every hour to drag myself to the bathroom which is about 50 feet away from my bedroom.  I belive that nightly walk back and forth kind of kept me in shape (lol) . Although I was dealing with all typical symptoms I didn´t feel the need for the pregnancy to end. Before I was pregnant I imagined it to be much worse.
My little girl also didn’t seem to be in a hurry to say “hello” to the “outside world”. Six days after due date we decided to get her by labor induction. After almost 24 hours of contractions and 9 hours of labor she finally arrived on December 22. at 9 a.m. in the morning. Her weight was 4300 gram and she was 54 cm „big“. Much bigger than doctors expected.

All I can say is that the first time she looked at me really felt like the greatest thing I have ever experienced. Do you remember the first time you had a crush on someone and your hormones couldn’t handle that overload ? That doesn’t even come close to what you feel about your little one – I guess.

It´s all personal


In my next personal post I will take you behind the scenes at our photo productions.
Some of the recent jobs were campaigns. Some were fashion editorials with celebrities like Lewis Hamilton, Zayn Malik, A$AP Rocky, Daniel Radcliffe, Odeya Rush, Designer, Anderson Paak … just to name a few. If you are interested I would tell you the story how my boyfriend proposed to me on set and explain how you can miss your flight two times in one day.